


What If The Itch...?

by StripesnBooks



Series: Homes After the Mountain [3]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Babysitting, F/M, Maybe - Freeform, Multi, Reader-Insert, Reader-Interactive, Soulmates, Souls, What Ifs, gimme promts and if i like em ill write em, maybe theyll get more?, one shots, pacifist children, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-11-19
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:04:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 15,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StripesnBooks/pseuds/StripesnBooks
Summary: What ifs and one shots of my other work, The Itch.[UPDATE] From now on I will only be doing these for commission. drop me a ko-fi if you wanna see something!What if Fang and the skeletons were soulmates?What if only one universe was there?what if Fang met the pacifist children?What if Slavetale?Read on to find out!





	1. Soulmate to the Judges

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know what this is or if it'll go anywhere, but it's just kind of a dump for my little ideas for now. they're fun to write.  
> But now I need money. So hit up my ko-fi!
> 
> come see me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> if you buy me a coffee, I'll do your suggestion here for sure.  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> enjoy?

Sans could hardly believe it. He found his soul mate. He was a little tipsy, but not nearly enough not to feel the tug in his soul as he was leaving Grillbys. He immediately knew what it was, but it didn't feel real. He found his soul mate. However, any excitement he had began to fade as he entered the alleys in human territory. He cautiously stuck to the shadows as he heard noises. Screams, gun shots, and what might have been something heavy hitting human flesh told him he had wandered into a fight. He peeked around the corner and saw at least ten humans gigging each other in what seemed to be an all out brawl, some in close quarters with bats and knives, and a few hiding in the terrain shooting at whoever their enemies were. Half of the humans seemed to just be in street clothes, but the other half were wearing various styles of masks over their faces. And finally, his eye lights landed on the one that his soul was calling out for. It was one of the masked fighters, the mask itself depicting a maw full of sharp teeth. They were definitely human, and we're currently wilding short staves which they used to beat back their opponents. They knocked the other human to the ground, and managed to run around behind and take down one of the gunmen. After that, the fight was all but won for the masks. As they began tying up the other humans, Sans stood there, trying to figure out what to do. Should he approach them tonight? 

You had an excellent night. The Morningstars made the mistake of trying to sell on Ushravas territory without permission, so you got to show them the error of their ways. Most of the members would be let go on their own turf, with a few taken for questioning. You were really good at questioning. Boss would probably ask you to take care of any rude or stubborn ones. As you got into one of the cars, you and the others checked each other for injuries. You had a couple cuts and bruises, by far the least harmed. But there was an odd feeling in your chest, a tightness and warmth that started partway through the battle. Probably heartburn or something. You'd just drink some ginger ale when you got home. 

Sans followed the humans from a distance. They dropped off his soulmate at an apartment complex, and he followed them until he learned which room was theirs. That’d have to do for tonight. He went home, thinking over this new development. So, his soulmate was a fighter. Stars, he had been so shocked that he forgot to Judge their Soul! They could be a killer for all he knew. What the hell would he do then? Well… he’d have to figure something out. His Soul was already complaining with him leaving and going home, practically screaming to go back and wrap his arms around them, keep them safe from now on, so if he ignored them it might get painful. But if they were his soulmate, certainly they wouldn’t hurt him or his family, right? He’d have to keep watching. He’d just be careful.

 

It had been a long day at the labs, with a lot of time spent showing around the new Fell Clan scientists. Stretch passed out as soon as he made it to the couch.

He was woken by a strange feeling in his Soul.

Stretch sat up, hand on his chest. This feeling, it couldn’t be… it pulsed stronger. Alsmost in a daze, he stood and walked towards the door. When he opened it, he was greeted by his brother, who had brought home groceries… and a human.

“Brother!” Blue called out with a wave. “I brought a new friend to join us for dinner!” he stepped past a frozen Stretch into the house, putting away groceries in the kitchen.

You stared back at this new skeleton. He was in an orange hoodie and cargo pants, in contrast to Blue’s casual t-shirt and shorts, and much taller than your new skeleton friend. Something felt off in your chest when you looked at him.

“Um,” you finally spoke up, “can I come in?”

“oh, uh, yeah.” he stood aside for you, but rudely kept staring. 

You followed Blue into the kitchen, helping put away groceries. You had been looking for a quick dinner at the store when you ran into your new friend. When he offered you a free home cooked meal instead, who were you to say no? It was like fate. 

Meanwhile, Stretch was busy trying to sort out his emotions. His soul mate was a human. That was a thing. He didn't hate humans, but he was certainly cautious around them since last year's incident. Well, if it had to be human, at least it was the most beautiful human he'd ever seen. She moved with purpose, and he could almost feel some kind of strength radiating from her. Her hair, her skin, her eyes… everything about her was so… perfect. He wanted to tell her so. To hold her right there and then, and just-

“So, I’m y/n,” you said to the new skeleton, your hand absentmindedly clutching at the fabric of your shirt in the middle of your chest. “You haven’t introduced yourself, and I think it’d be rude to just call you Blue’s brother.”

“oh,” he seemed to snap out of whatever daze he had been in, “stretch. call me stretch.” he held out a skeletal hand, and you took it but-

Pppphhhhhbbbbbbtttttt.

You looked down to your joined hands, then up at Stretch’s face. He was grinning. You looked down at your hands, then at Stretch. Now he was sweating. You looked down, and this time he let go of your hand. There was a beat of silence.

“Snrk. a whoopee cushion?” you threw a hand over your mouth to stifle giggles. “What the hell? Are you ten or something?”

He was relieved to finally get some reaction out of you. “nah, you’re the only ten here.” he winked and your laughter broke forth with the cheesy pick up line. His soul practically sung at being able to make you laugh like that. He needed to do it again. All through the rest of dinner, he was plotting on how to see more of you, and win you over. He was so happy to have found his soulmate.

 

Red was on his third drink when he felt the pull of his Soul. the first tug, he put his hand over the area, confused. With the second, he sat up straight in his chair. It couldn’t be… and then the door to Grillbys opened and you walked in. he and the rest of the bar stared at you as you sauntered to the bar with all the confidence in the world, as if you weren’t surrounded by only monsters, and ones that looked about ready to bite your head off, at that. Fell Clan’s Grillbys had been open only a few months, and in that time ninety percent of humans that walked in were racists here to harass them, or even outright attack them. Red prayed to every deity he knew that this one was different, that his damn soulmate not be a monster hater. He could have wept with joy when you just went to the bar to order a drink. Maybe, for once in his damn life, something was going to go right. Now he just had to interact with the human without scaring them off. The Souls would do the rest of the work, right? No, wait. If she was human, she probably couldn’t feel a thing; humans were dense as shit when it came to Souls. He’d have to actually woo her.

You rubbed at your chest as you walked to the bar of this Grillbys. There was that same weird feeling. It had started while you were out patrolling, since you had been feeling a little… well, your new roommate was getting on your nerves. But that weird… it was almost a tugging? It had gotten weaker as you appraoched the bar, and changed to a pleasant warmth almost as soon as you entered. Maybe it was some sort of magic to attract customers? Well, whatever it was, you could just order a drink and get back on the streets. The bartender huffed haughtily as you ordered something cheap. You absently rubbed at your chest again, at that strange warm feeling… almost contentment?

“hey, sweetheart,” you turned to find a skeleton monster had approached you as your drink was delivered. You looked down at him coldly. “how about you let me buy you one of the best drinks here?”

Well, it seemed monster bars had these types as well. His body type reminded you of your friend Blue. this skeletone was a few inches taller than you, an apparently permanent grin stretched across his jaw-less skull. His teeth were sharp, though, and one was golden. He had an air of danger about him, which you appreciated. Well, maybe he’d be good for a free drink. A sip of what you ordered proved it was alright, but not very strong or flavorful.

“What would you recommend?” you asked, not wanting to encourage him too much.

“sparks here makes an excellent milkshake.” Your brows furrowed in confusion. He wasn’t trying to get you drunk? “makes a mean burg’ and fries too, if you’re hungry. my treat.” 

You cautiously accepted the offer of fries, and soon he had ordered and the both of you were now seated at a booth, both with fries and milkshakes in front of you. You both made small talk, and before you knew it, your itch had faded. Just from talking to this guy, making crude jokes and talking shit about the city you both were trapped in. at no point did he offer you any alcohol, try to get you drunk, or anything of the like. At the end of the night, he just gave you his number and said he’d like to take you out any time.

Weird.


	2. Babysitting little Monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if reader babysat the pacifist children for a day?
> 
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/  
> consider visiting my tumblr and donating to the kofi account that you can find there!

This was a terrible idea. You looked down. Three-no, four uncertain faces looked up at you.

“So, uh… you guys have homework or some shi- or something?” Right. No cussing around kids. Especially not the kids of royalty. Of monster royalty. That they had dumped on you. Before kidnapping your skeletons. Now it was just you, these three kids, and a flower with a face. Cool. great. Fucking perfect.

The tallest kid, Frisk, nodded. They wore a blue and pink striped shirt. In fact, all these kids wore striped shirts and shorts. Chara was in yellow and green stripes, and Risky, the youngest, was in red and black. The flower, Flowey, was currently wrapped around Risky’s arm, avoiding eye contact.

“Alright, um… go… do your homework then.” why had they left the kids with you?! They were the royal families! They had to know more responsible adults than some woman who just happened to have a lot of skeleton friends!

Frisk walked into the dining room and obediently started pulling homework out of their backpack. Chara, on the other hand, went into the living room and started looking the movie and games collections. Risky just stayed in place, staring you down.

“Um, Risky,” Flowey spoke up timidly, “we should do our homework.” the flower turned to you. “Chara has homework too, but he’ll probably try to distract you.”

“Thanks,” you replied, casting a wary glance at Risky before turning to confront Chara. “Hey, kid. The flower said you had homework, so you gotta do that first.”

“But you have waaaaay more games than me!” Chara turned to face you, arms full of game and movie cases. Thank god this one could talk. Should you start learning sign language? The kids had boards to write on, but since they were close to the skeletons, you should probably learn sign language.

“Too bad kid. Homework first, then i can whoop your ass at DDR.” shit. You said ass. Maybe they didn’t notice? Were they gonna call you out on it? Were they gonna tell their parents? Could you fight those goat monsters? You didn’t think you could fight all of them at once, that’s for sure.

“Uuuuggghhhhhh, fiiinnnnnnneeee,” Chara whined, dramatically putting the pile of cases down on one of the couches. “But then we get to play whatever i want!”

“Sure kid,” you grinned. New opponents could be interesting. Wait. you had to hide all the games that were too risque. These kids were too young for your otomes.

After hiding the games in your room, you brought your laptop downstairs to watch the kids. They were relatively peaceful, all hunched over papers and books at the dining table, so you put your laptop down on the coffee table to get some snacks. Opening the fridge, you found it severely lacking in snacks. But the freezer… jackpot. Rocky road. Unopened. Hell. Yes. You pulled it out and when to fill a bowl, but almost dropped the ice cream when you closed the freezer for and all but tripped over the smallest one. Risky. Evidently, a well earned name. They stared up at you, then their eyes flicked meaningfully towards the Ice cream. You protectively held your prize against your chest. 

“You, uh, you finish your homework?” you weren't sure whether or not this one was intentionally trying to freak you out, standing still as a statue except for their quickly signing hands. 

“Um, we did, and they want some ice cream?” the flower hesitantly translated. 

You're not supposed to give kids sugar right? Except after dinner? You thought back to your childhood, but the only reasons you could remember being denied ice cream mostly had to do with it being a treat only for after dinner. That want a very good reason in your opinion, both as a former child and current adult. 

“You know what, if you all finish your homework then you can all have ice cream. But all of you have to finish first.” you stared down at Risky, and they gave you a short nod before returning to the dining table, presumably to relay the news of ice cream to the others. Finally filling a bowl with dairy goodness, you walked back to the couch-except Chara want at the dining table. Where were they… ah. They were back in the living room. “Hey kid,” you called at them, “you finish your homework then?”

“Yeah! Video games! Fight me!” he had gone with a classic marvel vs. capcom title, which you plugged in. “i’m gonna kick your butt!”

“You wish, squirt.”

They kick your butt. In five consecutive rounds.

“What the hell, kid!” you shout in frustration as they take you down again. “You’re really fff-freaking good at this!”

Frisk joins you on the couch, with a sign that reads : ‘homework done’. They pick up a controller.

“Oh, where’s Risky? I said when you all finish you could have ice cream if you want. Their eyes light up, and you grin at them. “If you want, you can start dishing out your own bowls while i look for them.” They barely wait for you to finish your sentence before taking off to the kitchen. The kid isn’t anywhere downstairs you could find. You walk upstairs and immediately see them in your room. Had you left the door wide open? “Hey kid, it’s rude to go into people’s rooms without permission,” you call out.

They turn to face you but still say nothing, merely moving their hands in intricate patterns. “Um,” Flowey translates, “they say they found a game they want to try?” the kid holds up one of the dating simulators you have. Well… that one didn’t have anything raunchy in it, you think.

“If everyone else is okay with it, then sure. But you still want that ice cream?” they dash past you without another word. Wow. they move even faster than you. When you get to the kitchen, you find that the children have taken great liberties in serving themselves. After all four of them have gotten to it, theres not much left for you. Indeed, in the living room you find them with overflowing bowls of ice cream. Shrugging, you simply take a spoon to the carton to eat what remains while the humans duke it out in various games, and then you all try to contribute to guiding a character through a dating simulator, debating with girl or boy would be the best to woo. These kids are actually pretty cool. You can treat them kind of like adults.

“Please please please can we order pizza?” Chara begs. “Dad never lets us!” they have quickly learned that the easiest way to get your permission to do something is to say their parents never let them. It’s how they got to play games, drink soda, curse as long as they don’t tell their parents, and a number of small requests, even though it can’t have been more than four hours. You quickly relent, and Chara dashes to your laptop at the dining table to pull up a pizza website.

Frisk goes to pick a movie, and Flowey goes with them, leaving you and Risky alone on the couch. Now, by this time you are certain this kid is trying to mess with your head. They let Flowey do the talkign for them all day, so you know that alone they’ll probably just stare at you the whole time or something to freak you out. As you sink into the couch, they tug your sleeve.

“Huh? What’s up, kid?” you ask. You didn’t expect them to initiate anything. You thought it was perfectly clear you couldn’t understand sign language.

Out of seemingly nowhere, Risky pulls out your mask and one of your knives.

Your blood runs cold.

“Hey. where’d you get that kid?” you are completely on the defensive, ready to fight a small child if necessary. Well, disarm them and detain them, anyway. They turn to the stairs and look at your door. “It was in my room?” they nod. “I don’t leave stuff like that out in the open.” they nod again. “So what are you trying to say here kid?”

They scooch right up next to you. You tense, but they hand you your mask and weapon. You tuck it into the couch cushions. You’ll move it as soon as it’s safe. The kid is still staring at you, so now you stare back. They motion for you to come closer. You bring you face close to theirs. They tilt your head and whisper in your ear.

“If,” the voice is quiet, and hoarse with disuse, coming out like a croak, “if you hurt my friends, you’re gonna have a bad time.” 

With surprising force, they shoved you away and you fell in surprise against the arm of the couch. Risky was already in the dining room with Chara, picking out pizza toppings. You were still stunned. You weren’t scared of a kid hurting you. No way. But you were sure of one thing.

There’s no way that was a normal kid.


	3. Deleted Section: Boys in Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is realy just a section i cut from the main story, but since it was a chunk that went into a bit of detail on Blue's involvement with the human police force, i figured id let you guys see it. as a sort of bonus, i guess.
> 
> there arent really any spoilers here.

Blue had mixed feelings about his work with the human police. Most of them seemed to like him, and almost never were any rude or racist words spoken to his face. But they never made much effort to involve him in anything they did, except for his human partner Angela. She was a good partner. Every time he came to the station, and whenever she took him on patrols, she would teach him about human laws and explain all the things the cops had to do. It was much more complicated than the duties of a royal guard, but he just tried to think of it like a puzzle. Angela assured him that not all the rules were important, and that sometimes it was okay to ignore them, but Blue disagreed. The rules were there for a reason, right?

When he went into work in the morning for his day with the human police, his thoughts were consumed by you. Their human. Why were you a target? Why had your motel room been destroyed? He hoped to find some answers today. He had texted Angela, and she had made sure that Blue could be present for the interrogation of the bomber. He knew you were hiding something, and he hoped this would bring him closer to finding out what.

“Morning Blue!” Angela called out as he walked in. “How’s the new place?”

He perked up at the greeting from his friend. “Mweh heh, the house is almost as magnificent as me! It’s huge, and we have a library now, and the water is clean and all the doors are functional!”

Angela flinched a little at the reminder of how bad things were in the monster districts. “That’s great Blue! You said you’re moved in with a bunch of friends, right? Reminds me of my sorority days.”

“What’s a sorority?”

Angela spent time talking to Blue about her college days, explaining the not-so-greek greek life houses and other clubs she had been in, until one of the other officers stopped by their desks.

“We set that Kings guy up in the questioning room for you, Ange.”

She nods back seriously. “Thanks.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buy Blue a coffee to help him deal with human racism!  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> be my friend on tumblr! ask character questions or just message me and we can talk about fanfic all day.  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/


	4. You Meet Bitties

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone asked about this, and then i figured i'd put it here! ;3 so props to strangemooncollective on tumblr for the idea!
> 
> the prompt: what if reader from the itch met a Papy and Baby Blue bitty?

“What the hell are these?”

 

On the table are two very small, very excited skeletons. One looks almost exactly like Papyrus, and keeps looking around what he can see of the house before looking back at you, then getting distracted by something new again. The other looks very much like Blue, even with his own tiny blue neck scarf. Like Blue, he looks like he wants to run up and hug you, and seems seconds away from some kind of emotional outburst.

 

“i wish i knew,” Sans sighs tiredly. “they just showed up out of nowhere. Maybe they came out of the mountain? doggo is supposed to be keeping watch, but maybe they were so small he missed a new clan?”

 

“WE FOLLOWED YOU HOME FROM THE ADOPTION CENTER BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE THE SANSYS!” the mini Paps informed you.

 

“the what?” Sans choked.

 

The tiny Blue jumped in. “YES! SO WE WANTED TO LEARN HOW YOU GOT TO BE SO LARGE, BECAUSE WE ALSO WANT TO BE LARGE! THAT WAY WE DON’T NEED ANYONE TO TAKE CARE OF US AND MY MAGNIFICENCE CAN REACH IT’S TRUE POTENTIAL, MWEH HEH HEH!”

 

“Okay, this is pretty surreal,” you say. “So who are you and where do you guys come from, exactly? Are you a new clan from the mountain?”

 

“NO, WE CAME FROM THE ADOPTION CENTER! AND YOU CAN CALL ME PAPY! UNLESS, UM, YOU WANT TO GIVE ME A NEW NAME?” Papyr fidgets and blushes a light orange.

 

“Um. why would you want me to give you a new name?” This is so weird. You’re so confused. Sans is also confused, and doesn’t appear to be taking it as well, as he is now chugging ketchup.

 

“PAPY, YOU DIDN’T EXPLAIN PROPERLY!” the other tiny skeleton scolds. “PAPY IS HIS SPECIES, BUT IS ALSO USED FOR A NAME UNTIL WE GET ADOPTED! WE’RE BITTIES, AND SINCE WE’RE SO SMALL WE NEED SOMEONE TO ADOPT US AND HELP TAKE CARE OF US, AND LOVE US! WE’LL DIE IF WE CAN’T GET ENOUGH LOVE. BUT IF WE GET BIG LIKE YOU-” he looks to Sans, who looks as if he just wants a stiff drink, “-THEN MAYBE WE WOULDN’T NEED TO BE TAKEN CARE OF.”

 

You raise an eyebrow. “Sans, were you ever this small?”

 

“no. not even as a baby bones. i really don’t know what’s going on, but i can’t make them bigger.”

 

They both seem quite disheartened by this proclomation.

 

“WILL YOU… SEND US BACK?” the Papy wouldn’t meet your eyes as he asked. Shit. he had Papyrus’s puppy face.

 

“ye-”

 

“You guys can stay if you don’t want to go back.” Sans looked at you with something akin to betrayal, and honestly you didn’t know why you said it yourself. But i mean, these guys couldn’t that much trouble, right? They were small, and alone, and really, really cute.

 

“OH MY GOODNESS! WE HAVE TO EXPLORE!” the Papy announced, grabbing the other and diving off the table in a well-executed rolling dive. He landed on his feet and put his friend down, and they both held hands and took off out of the dining room.

 

Well. you’d have to go after them.


	5. Soulmates Royal Guard Edition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if you were soulmate to the skeletons of the royal guard?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this ended up being Edge-centric, so i might end up doing a sequel to fully explore the others as well. but thats if and when i feel like it.
> 
> want to ask me on a date? maybe buy me a coffee first at:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> check out my tumblr for bonus content, rants, and accidental clues to stuff!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

You had started going to a different grocery store, because sometimes when you shopped in the one closer to your home, you sometimes got these weird chest pains. You didn’t knwo what it was, but it only happened when you were in that store, so you figured you must be allergic to something they stocked or something. This store was fine the few times you’d come, so you were definitely annoyed when, just as you were throwing some ramen into your cart, there was that familiar tight feeling just under your sternum. You rubbed absently at your chest, barely taking notice of the commotion coming from the front of the store.

 

“I-i’m sorry b-b-but we don’t s-serve monsters-”

 

“AS IF I WOULD WANT TO PURCHASE ANYTHING FROM SUCH A LOW QUALITY ESTABLISHMENT.”

 

“S-so if you could p-please leave…?”

 

“NOT UNTIL I FIND MY SOULMATE.”

 

You perked up as the yelling grew louder, apparently nearing your aisle. Whoever this was, they sure were insistent. Even if they were looking for their so-called ‘soulmate’. Hopefully this wasn’t a case of an obsessive ex looking for a past lover. You didn’t really feel like getting involved in a fight today. But, being the amazing, compassionate, and humble hero that you were, and not because of curiosity, you moved to see what was making all the fuss. You almost ran into someone who was heading in the opposite direction at the end of the aisle, and suddenly, your chest was on fire. Hissing in pain, you looked up at who almost bowled you over.

 

Ah. A monster.

 

And not just any monster, but apparently death himself. A skeleton towered above you, at least a foot taller, maybe more. He was dressed in a black shirt and skinny jeans, with red gloves and a scarf. His teeth looked razor sharp, like a shark. His eye sockets, one of which had three gouges through it, despite being dark and empty, appeared to be directed straight at you. Specifically, where your hand hovered over your chest.

 

“YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME.” the skeleton looked you up and down, and you stared back, unsure of what was going on.

 

“Um, ‘scuse me buddy, but some of us have some shopping to do.” you made to move your cart around him, but he grabbed onto it.

 

“HUMAN. IT SEEMS YOU AND I NEED TO TALK.” his tone made no room for argument, but your emotions flared. No one tells you what to do.

 

You gave him your best death glare, and while he didn’t back down, his eyes narrowed somewhat. “Monster. It seems that you are getting in my way. If you want to ask me to talk, more politely, after i have finished shopping, i will consider it. Now, i’d appreciate it if you let go of my cart.”

 

A timid worker popped up, obviously nervous but trying their best not to show it. “Sir, you’re disturbing the other customers. We need you t-to leave!”

 

Tall, dark, and edgey spared the worker only a glance before turning their attention back to your cart. “YOU ARE ACTUALLY PUTTING THIS SLOP IN YOUR BODY?” he picked up a can of hash and eyed it dubiously. He practically threw it back into the cart and began going through the other items you had, ignoring your protests and mounting frustration. “ALL YOU HAVE CHOSEN ARE LOW-QUALITY MICROWAVE MEALS AND NUTRITIONLESS GARBAGE. YOU APPEAR TO HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!” you took offense to that. “OBVIOUSLY, I WILL HAVE TO EDUCATE YOU.” he sighed as if you had just slapped some great burden upon him. “YOU WILL HAVE TO PUT THIS BACK AND JOIN ME FOR DINNER… PLEASE.” he added after a beat.

 

You debated internally. You didn’t really want to give this prick anything he wanted, but… free dinner… you rubbed absently at your chest, as the ache had begun to subside at some point in your conversation. It now felt only like some sort of light tug. “Yeah, fine whatever. When?”

 

“NOW, OF COURSE. COME.” with that, he turned and began to exit the store. Oh, he was reeeaally pushing his limits. But with an apologetic look at the store worker, you left your half-full cart and followed the monster out the door.

  
  
  


“So you think that me and you are,” you gestured vaguely, “soulmates.” you were standing in the kitchen of the monster, Edge, as he made you dinner. He had explained that the strange feeling in your chest was a reaction to your soulmate being near, and that he could feel it much stronger, as a monster. He had said that it was your soul, which was apparently a thing that existed.

 

“YES. WAS MY EXPLANATION NOT SUFFICIENT? IF I HAD TO BE STUCK WITH A HUMAN SOULMATE, I HAD HOPED IT WOULD BE ONE OF THE MORE INTELLIGENT ONES...” he stirred whatever was in the pot vigorously, splashing boiling water everywhere. You didn’t know what he was making, besides a mess.

 

“I understand what you’re saying, i just can’t comprehend it.” you backed up a little farther as some boiling water came flying your way. “I don’t see why i should believe i have a soulmate, and not a bad case of heartburn or something.” it wasn’t that you didn’t believe him, in all honesty. It was that you didn’t want to, no matter how much sense it made or how you felt, somewhere deep down, that he was absolutely telling the truth.

 

While you were playing the skeptic, Edge was going half mad, his Soul in turmoil at having you so near and not even having touched you yet. It had taken every ounce of self restraint, and he had a lot, not to simply pick you up and hold you close, have your skin in contact with his bone, and keep your fragile human self safe and close by at all costs. He acknowledge the keening in his Soul, and promptly ignored it. It might overwhelm you, or worse, scare you off. He was a disciplined skeleton, second in command of the royal guard, and he would keep a respectable distance until you had accepted your situation. “THE DISCOMFORT WILL GO AWAY ONCE WE FORM A SOUL BOND. HOWEVER, THAT WOULD OPEN US TO FEEL SOME OF EACH OTHERS EMOTIONS AND KNOW WHERE THE OTHER IS AT ALL TIMES, SO IT IS LIKELY MORE THAN YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH AT THIS STAGE. WORRY NOT, I WILL C-COURT YOU P-PROPERLY.”

 

Now he was stirring… pasta sauce? Oh, he was making lasagna. And still making a mess. Flecks of red began to appear on the floor and walls as he attempted to create some sort of vortex in the sauce pot. You had to admit, his demeanor was… entertaining, if nothing else. Maybe even… endearing? No. no, what the heck. You just met him.

 

The door slammed open, and a deep voice called out. “‘m home boss. you makin’ dinner again?”

 

“YES, I AM. AND BE ON YOUR BEST BEHAVIOR, FOR I HAVE FOUND MY SOULMATE.”

 

There was a rush of stomping and a shorter skeleton appeared in the kitchen, wearing a black jacket and basketball shorts. “no kiddin’! hey congratu…” his words died out as he spotted you. You leaned back on the wall and gave him an amused little wave. “uh... boss, is yer, um, soulmate, a…”

 

“A HUMAN, YES. I DON’T REALLY UNDERSTAND IT EITHER, BUT YOU ARE TO BE POLITE REGARDLESS.”

 

“‘Sup,” you greeted casually.

 

The other skeleton, Red, quickly introduced himself. “um, boss, you remember how risky was sayin’ how some of your normal ingredients ain’t exactly good for humans?”

 

“YES, YES, I HAVE LEFT OUT THE VINEGAR AND GLASS FOR THIS TIME.”

  
  
  


You looked at the embassy building as if it might come to life and eat you on the spot. Edge had insisted you meet him after work for ‘SOULMATE ACTIVITES’, which you took to mean a date. You still weren’t quite sure why you agreed, and you definitely weren’t sure why him asking and blushing made you blush. The brother had simply watched the two of you interact all through dinner last night, as you both talked about anything and everything. Well, you argued about anything and everything. But maybe in a good-natured way? You still weren’t exactly sure what had gone on, but afterwards, you surprisingly didn’t feel any need to vent per your usual activities. You felt… good? Warm? Something. You were warned of Edge’s coming by the tightening in your chest, almost as if it were trying to pull you to him. Oh, wow, it was really strong today. Almost… okay, it really hurt. You clutched at your chest as it got worse.

 

“WHAT I DO IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, SO STOP FOLLOWING ME!” you could hear Edge from outside. Even if it was hard to focus through this pain.

 

“But I want to meet your soulmate too!” another voice, one you didn’t recognize. It was a bit nasally and loud, but not unpleasant.

 

“Fuhuhu! C’mon, let the cream puffs tag along!” another new voice. Gruff, but maybe feminine?

 

“We are not cream puffs, Sahme!” and another, the deepest one yet but also somewhat nasally.

 

Just when you were about to collapse from pain, the door burst open and three skeletons and some kind of fish person emerged. Upon spotting you nearby, Edge began walking to you, but quickly sped up when he saw you were in pain.

 

“WHAT IS GOING ON? ARE YOU HURT?!” he immediately began looking you over for injuries, his gloved hands ghosting over your form and sending a pleasant shiver through you. Wait! This is not the time or place for such thoughts!

 

“It… it hurts,” you managed to get out, still clutching at your chest.

 

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND…”

 

“Um, Edge?” he spun around and you followed his gaze to the other two skeletons. One was quite similar to him, tall and a bit imposing, but looked… brighter, somehow. The other was shaped more like his brother, but decked in blue and appearing more boisterous. However, both skeletons held hands over their chests. The taller one spoke up again. “I think… this might be complicated.” the two new skeletons walked closer to you, and the pain eased and was replaced by a quick burning sensation as the two drew up beside you.

 

Were they… all your soulmates?

 

“So,” the small blue one looked nervous, “i guess this is where we explain how we’re all the same person from different timelines?”

 

This… sounded like it was going to be complicated. But when was your life not?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so that was a thing that i wrote. hopefully it was entertaining?
> 
> if you didn't hate it, maybe buy me a coffee?  
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> 
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	6. What if we Fell instead of Frisk?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What if, those years ago, we fell into the underground instead of Frisk? before the monsters arrived, before the rift between us and Byrd, before we even joined Ushravas... what if we were the eighth fallen human?

Ouch. everything really hurt. That must have been one deep hole. You looked up and, sure enough, the surface appeared to be maybe fifty feet above you? You attempted to twitch your fingers and toes, and found everything mostly in working condition. You think your arm is broken, but besides that it’s all bruises and scrapes. Oh, and one big cut on your leg. Oh wow, that’s a lot of blood. The small patch of golden flowers was being stained red. When you got out, Byrd was gonna be pissed. Looking around, you could see that there was a dark cave that continued into the darkness, but you were much more likely to get help by waiting here. One of those other morons must be close.

 

“HEY! SOMEBODY HELP! SAM! TRENT! JACKIE!” you spent a few minutes yelling, but you didn’t hear any kind of answer.

 

Not from above you, at least.

 

“Howdy! Did you fall down here?” you turned, but couldn’t see anyone there. Except a flower that wasn’t there before. “I’m Flowey! Flowey the flower!” the flower had a face. It was talking. Great. You were hallucinating. Shit.

 

“HELP! I THINK I HAVE A CONCUSSION!” you tried yelling again.

 

“Golly, you sure do love to yell.” your hallucination took on a tone of annoyance. “But help won’t come from there. How about i show you how things work down here?” You felt something tug, and a bright orange heart pulled itself out of your chest. “This is your Soul! The culmination of your entire being!”

 

This was wrong.

 

This felt so wrong.

 

You felt naked.

 

Vulnerable.

 

So vulnerable.

 

You tried to run, but you couldnt, like you were tethered to this heart. And looking at it, the heart was you, a part of you, and you didn’t know why, or how, but again, everything felt wrong, and looked strange, and every fiber of your being said that this should not be happening, that heart did not belong outside your body, and you couldn’t run, you couldn’t make yourself, and they were going to get you, they would pull you back and hurt you, hurt your sister, and you would be trapped forever.

 

“Golly, i haven’t even attacked you and already you’re losing HoPe! You’re pretty weak, aren’t you?”

 

The voice of your hallucination snapped you back to the present. You were fine. You were in ebott, with Byrd, and your parents didn’t know where you were. You turned back to the flower. “I am not weak. Now… put… my heart… or whatever, back where it came from.”

 

“Aw, but you look so weak! How about i help out your HP with some friendliness pellets?” The flower chirped happily, bobbing back and forth.

 

“Whatever,” you told it, “you’re just a hallucination. As long as i don’t pass out, i should be fine. Unless i did pass out, and this is a dream…”

 

“I’m not a hallucination!” the flower said indignantly. Several white pellets appeared near the heart that was you, spinning in place. Then they sailed towards the heart, your Soul, and when they made contact, you screamed. “Hahaha! Kill or be killed, idiot!”

 

“Oh Dear!”

 

The flower growled at this new voice, but a ball of flame knocked them to the side, and they promptly burrowed underground. A new hallucination stepped into view, some kind of large, white, furry bipedal creature with short horns and wearing purple robes.

 

“What a terrible creature, tormenting a poor, helpless youth!”

 

You were a bit disturbed by how vivid your hallucinations were. Was pain supposed to be something you could feel from a hallucination? Because that thing that hit your heart-thing hurt. The glowing heart in question slowly sunk back into your chest as the new creature regarded you.

 

“Oh my, what strong stats you have.”

 

Toriel introduced herself and began leading you through the ruins. You slowly realized that this was probably all real, especially as she healed your wounds. You were in a place called the Underground, a place with with monsters, doomed to live their lives trapped under the mountain and away from sunlight. It was sad, really. A few monsters tried to attack you, although toriel claimed it was just how they communicated. Most of them would back off after a glare from you or Toriel, until Toriel left to go get something, and told you to wait in the ruins.

 

So you sat down to wait.

 

The walls of the ruins were made of a rough lavender brick, the texture reminding you somewhat of the red brick walls of the buildings around Byrd’s campus. Bright green vines grew in places, their roots clinging to the stone as they curled and wound their way up to the ceiling. A low light found its way to the halls, despite you not seeing any source. Your phone screen was cracked, but it still functioned alright, despite the fall. Well, it didn’t have any signal.and the phone toriel gave you didn’t really have any functions besides calling, it seemed.

 

…

 

You were bored. Well, if you got lost, you could always call Toriel, right? She seemed nice enough, if a bit overprotective. You push off the remarkably clean stone floor and wipe off your clothes before heading deeper into the ruins.

 

Most of the monsters back off when you glare at them. You’ve tried talking a few times, but none of them answered except one weird vegetable(?), which just told you that plants can’t talk before going away. Then, in between puzzles, you met a ghost. A simple, looks-like-someone-threw-a-sheet-over-themselves, ghost. When it saw you, it quickly went stiff (how do ghosts go stiff?) and began to snore loudly.

 

…

 

Unfortunately, it was blocking the only path you could take.

 

“Uuuuh, hey, um, can I… get through here?”

 

ZZZZZZZZ…

 

“Look, you’re blocking the only path, so can you please move?”

 

ZZZ….

 

You stared for a second. Well, if it was a ghost, maybe you could just… you reached a hand out to the ghost to touch it. Just as your hand brushed agaist it, feeling only cold air, the ghost jolted away in a panic.

 

“Sorry…” it said, “i was faking…” Your Soul popped out of your chest again, and the ghost began to cry. The tears defied gravity and seemed to aim for your soul. You dove to the side, your soul moving somewhat with you.

 

“Look pal, i’m just trying to get through here! I’m looking for Toriel?” you tried to reason with him, but he seemed lost in his own misery.

 

“I was only in the way… i’m so sorry…” his tears came at you again, and again you dodged. But this time you stepped forward and waved a hand through him.

 

“Hey! Stop attacking me!” it felt like waving your hand through a cold mist, in a decidedly neutral way.

 

“Oh… sorry…” your soul returned to your body, and the ghost vanished through the ceiling.

 

“That was… something.” you shook your head, but continued on. You made it all of ten minutes and a couple puzzles before a large froggit stepped in your path. “Beat it. I’m just trying to find Toriel.” you told it, with a harsh glare to punctuate your statement. You didn’t have anything against the frog monsters, but they just didn’t seem to be able to communicate with you and you really wanted to avoid all those uncomfortable soul encounters. Alas, it was not meant to be, as your soul was drawn out yet again.

 

“Ribbit ribbit.” you dodged the white hopping frog that came at your soul.

 

You were pretty annoyed. Why didn’t they get that you just wanted to pass through? “Just get out of my way!” you stepped forward to the large creature and shoved it to the side in an attempt to continue your journey. It stumbled and fell to the ground.

 

“... meow…” it began to shiver and blur, and you watched in horror as the monster dissolved into dust.

 

“W-what? What was… that? Did it… did i…?” you kneel down to the pile of dust and gently sift through it, searching for any sign of the creature. “I… Toriel will know what to do… right? Yeah. i just need to…” you stood up and continued through the ruins, soon coming upon a house. Your phone rang. Oh, right. The phone toriel had given you. You see the goat monster in question on the other side of the room, and so ignore the ringtone in favor of running over to her.

 

“Oh, hello my child. I am sorry i took so long, but it appears you found your way here by yourself! … my child?” Toriel takes in the lost look on your face, and her eyes slide down to your hands and stay there. Your hands are coated in silvery dust.

 

“Toriel, i… i pushed this froggit out of the way and… and they just! Dissolved? I…” she put her paws on your shoulders, silencing you.

 

“It’s alright, my child. You didn’t know, yes?”

 

“... i killed them, didn’t i?”

 

“Yes. i’m afraid you did. I think we need to have a discussion about the differences between monsters and humans.”

 

LV: 2

 

EXP: 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops, thats a bit of a dark ending! ive been thinking about this for a while though, about how things would be if this younger version of reader came into the underground, before they started killing humans. still violent, but trying not to take it out on innocent monsters once Toriel explains they mean no harm. theres no way it would be a pacifist run.
> 
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	7. You Meet Bitties pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More bitty shenanigans

Where were they? They only just left the room, how could they disappear so quickly? You looked around the living room, trying to catch a flash of movement from the small monsters. 

 

“y/n, what are you looking for? Can I be of assistance?” Papyrus came down from his room. 

 

“well, um,” you tried to explain, but where could you even start? Ah yes, a tiny version of you and Blue showed up, and I immediately lost them in the living room. “We sort of have new roommates?”

 

“We do?!” he slapped his gloved hands to his face in excitement. “I can't wait to meet them! Who are they? Are they monsters? Are there more versions of us?!”

 

“Uuuuuuuh…”

 

“IT'S A GIANT PAPY!” The excited voice drew your gaze down to where a tiny skull was poking out from under the green couch. Ah. there was the Blue one, at least.

 

“REALLY?!” another head poked out right beside the first. Both bitties accounted for. You quickly snathed them up off the floor.

 

“Okay guys, you need to not run off like that, at least until you meet everyone,” you say. “We can’t have someone stepping on you or something. So, um, Papy… and… Baby… Blue? Okay, you will need new names. But, this is Papyrus.”

 

“IT IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, GIANT PAPY! I AM A BABY BLUE BITTY SO YOU CAN CALL ME BLUE UNTIL OUR NEW MAMA HAS GIVEN US NAMES!” the baby blue held out a tiny gloved hand to shake. Papyrus carefully shook his hand with two of his own much larger gloved fingers.

 

“Wait what do you mean new mama?”

 

“AND I AM CALLED PAPY FOR NOW, GIANT ME! I HOPE WE CAN BE GREAT FRIENDS! YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH OUR NEW MAMA, YES? DO YOU LIKE SPAGHETTI TOO?!” The Papy appeared to have stars in its eyes as it looked up at Papyrus from your hand, amazed at this larger version of himself.

 

“Guys i’m not you’re new mama.”

 

“OH MY GOODNESS!” Papyrus appeared so excited that he lost his volume control. Well, at least he’s happy. “I CAN’T BELIEVE THERE IS SUCH A TINY VERSION OF ME?! HE’S SO SMALL?! YES, WE MUST BECOME THE BEST OF FRIENDS! OH GOODNESS, I’LL HAVE TO START THE FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI RIGHT NOW! AND FIND SANS TO INFORM HIM!” with that, Papyrus ran to the kitchen.

 

“Well… that’s Papyrus. I think everyone is home today, we just have to find them. Weird, usually more of them are in the living room… but really, I’m not your new mom or whatever.” you listened closely, and thought that maybe you could hear something from the backyard.

 

“YOU’RE LETTING US STAY, SO YOU’RE OUR NEW MAMA! THAT’S WHAT MAMA CRY SAID!” The baby Blue hugged your fingers and looked up at you with those big, starry eyes. You don’t know how his eye lights became five pointed stars, but it was really wearing at your resolve, so you tried not to look at them. The Papy bitty just hummed happily and kept running his gloves over your skin as if it were fascinating. Maybe, to him, it was.

 

You went to the windows that faced the backyard, and found Blue and Edge sparring on the grass. Luckily, they remembered to use soul-based attacks, so no harm was coming to any of the more physical objects like the fence, or nosy neighbors. You stepped out, but they didn’t seem to notice as they continued. Blue sent a wave of white bones at Edge, but he merely leapt over them and shot an array of faintly red pointed bones from behind his opponent. One of them nicked Blue, but the others were neatly avoided.

 

“WOWIE! THAT BIGGER ME IS SO COOL!” the blue cried out.

 

Edge was distracted by the new voice and glanced over to you, nearly forgetting to dodge another attack from Blue. he glared at his opponent before they both stopped sparring and walked over to you instead.

 

“So, uh, this is Blue and Edge,” you introduced the skeletons, rubbing the back of your neck, “Blue, Edge, these are… bitties. They’re our new roommates. They don’t really have names? But for now we’re calling them Papy and Baby Blue.”

 

“Oh my goodness! This tiny me is so cute and small and handsome! And the little Papy is very cool too! Oh, oh, can i help name them?!” Blue was, predictably, incredibly excited, and you gave him permission to help you think of names.

 

“WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?” Edge immediately asked, glancing at them suspiciously.

 

You rolled your eyes. “Dunno. They apparently followed Sans home, and from what we can tell they’re a new breed of monster. There’s apparently a bunch of them in Fell district up for adoption.”

 

“I WAS HOPING MAMA WOULD NAME US, BUT IF YOU CHOOSE THE NAMES I’M SURE THEY’LL BE APPROPRIATELY MAGNIFICENT!” the baby blue spoke up, and Blue cocked his head to the side.

 

“... Mama?”

 

“I’m not your mom!” you reiterated. However, the bitties looked so crestfallen at this you couldn’t help but add, “okay, okay, i can be your… cool aunt or something i guess. Being called a mom just feels weird.”

 

“I Think You Would Be An Excellent Mother…” Edge mumbled quietly, but audibly. He turned red when he saw you looking at him strangely. “Y-YOU ARE STRONG ENOUGH TO PROTECT CHILDREN. THAT’S ALL I MEANT.”

 

“Ugh i am not mom material,” you protested. “I’m not a caretaker, i don’t dote, i can give hugs and support but i’m not a nurturer or any of that shit. I’ve been debating getting my tubes tied for years.”

 

“BERRY AND NOODLE!” Blue spoke up, his face tinted with a light blush. “We could call them Berry and Noodle.” he pointed and the baby blue and the papy, respectively.

 

You easily agreed, and went back into the house to find the last two of your skeletal companions while the boys went to take showers. Cold showers, they felt inclined to specify.

 

Red and Stretch were found in the library. Berry and Noodle had moved to sit on your right and left shoulders, respectively, and were chattering on excitedly about little things in the house or asking simple questions that you quickly and easily answered. You had given up on them calling you anything but ‘mama’, but they’d have to come to terms with the fact that you were not going to baby them.

 

“Red, Stretch, meet Berry and Noodle,” you pointed at the monsters in question. “They’re gonna be living with us from now on.”

 

Red looked up from his place souched in an armchair. “th’ fuck is there a little blue brat on ya shoulder? he get shrunk?”

 

“oh shit.” now that was a much more interesting reaction. You turned to watch Stretch get up from the desk where he had been looking at something, and come closer to the bitties on your shoulder. “my dad told me about these guys. bitties. even mentioned adopting one himself. wasn’t sure if he was pulling my femur.”

 

“NICE TO MEET YOU BOTH!” Noodle happily proclaimed from where he sat, attempting and failing to braid a section of your hair. “I HOPE WE CAN ALL BE THE BEST OF FRIENDS! IT SEEMS WE ARE EVEN HAVING FRIENDSHIP SPAGHETTI TONIGHT!”

 

“Yeah, paps got all excited,” you explain. “So, i guess we’re having an early dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you guys seemed to enjoy some fluffy bitty shit, so here you go! with a little extra insight to fang's character on the side.
> 
> buy Noodle some artisinal spaghetti:  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
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	8. Soulmate to Judges pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dunno if you wanted a pt 2, but heres one anyway! complete with a skele-kiss to tide you over until the itch updates.
> 
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You kept glancing at the number on your phone. Should you call him? It’s been a while since you went on a date. Normally you didn’t think too much about actual romance, but something about that guy kinda made you want to see him again.

 

“watcha lookin’ at honey?” Stretch said as he leaned over to peek at your screen. You were over at his and Blue’s house, with the shorter (but apparently older) skeleton currently cookin in the kitchen. You unconsciously moved closer to Stretch, leaning in to touch as much of him as possible.

 

“Some guy gave me his number. I’m thinking about calling him. I don’t even know why honestly, normally i never give these kind of guys the time of day. But when i met him at a bar, he didn’t try to get me drunk, buy me alcohol or anything. Just told jokes and seemed decent. I kind of want to see him again?” you looked up to Stretch, searching for advice.

 

Stretch had seen the contact name. Red. shit. If you were both of their soulmates, then that meant Sans too… he had to keep you from meeting Sans. no way was Stretch gonna let him pull alpha-timeline bullshit when he finally found his stars damned soulmate. “hmm. i dunno, those bar types are all pretty dangerous. got a better idea, how about i take you on a date instead?”

 

You punched him playfully. “If you think i shouldn’t call him, you can just say so. No need to tease me.”

 

“ain’t teasin’ darlin. i wanna take you on a date.” he looked at you seriously. When had you two gotten so close? His face was inches from yours.

 

“Oh.” you were blushing like a damn school girl! But… it made you happy. Even though you had barely known him for a week, you could feel chemistry. Or something. You were certainly happier with him around, and found yourself looking for excuses to come over and hang out. Not that Blue seemed to mind. “Um, i mean, i wouldn’t… exactly… mind going on a date with you.”

 

He grinned, or at least his permanent grin widened. “great! how ‘bout i take you somewhere nice tomorrow night? i’ll buy you dinner and all that jazz.”

 

You laughed. “Alright, sounds good. When should I stop by?”

  
  
  


The next day found you at the casino distributing drinks with a more sincere smile than usual. One of the regulars looked up from his cards to accept his drink, leaving a generous tip.

 

“What’s got you so happy today, gorgeous?” he asked good naturedly.

 

“Just a good day,” you said, glossing over your date. “You want the special?” you shot him a wink, and he laughed and declined. You made your way back over to the bar where Cherry watched you.

 

“You have a date,” she said without any preamble.

 

You looked up at her sharply. “Boss said no spying. If i find any listening devices in my shit, i swear Cheryl…”

 

She showed her teeth, almost more reminiscent of a snarl than a smile, but just barely inclined towards the latter. “I just know you, y/n. You’re pretty easy to read with stuff like this, anyway.”

 

With a poisonous glare, you went to sweep the busy areas until closing.

 

You all but bounced to your motorcycle as your shift ended, earning more than a few stray glances. What, had they never seen you bounce? It wasn’t uncommon when you were feeling this happy. Huh. when was the last time you were this happy? Hell, why were you so happy over a date with a friend you just met who was really cool to hang around and watch movies with and take lazy naps and his dumb bones were surprisingly warm and comfortable and it felt good when he touched your hair and shit did you have a fucking crush?! How did this happen without you realizing sooner?! You stared at your bike, as if waiting for it to explain the intricacies of fate to you. It didn’t, so instead you simply got on in silence and drove to Stretch’s house, your bounce gone. Okay, so you had a crush, so what? You’re gonna date the fuck out of this monster. You’re gonna seduce a skeleton.

 

Stretch was a little nervous.

 

“Brother would you like to borrow my dating manual?” Blue asked, his grin wide as he offered the book. “I believe it would help prepare you for your date wit the human y/n!”

 

“no thanks bro,” he shrugged casually, popping a sucker in his mouth, resisting the urge to smoke. A knock on the door had him taking a shortcut from the couch directly outside, and you jumped in surprise when you spun around to find him behind you. He grinned. “you ready?”

 

You smiled back flirtatiously. “Let’s go, bone boy.” you confidently took his hand in your own as he led you through the Swap district. You hadn’t explored the monster district much; it always felt like you were intruding and there wasn’t anything there you wanted, really. Well, nowadays there was a certain skeleton, but beyond that little else.

 

But even as you felt… some weird satisfaction in holding Stretch’s hand, it felt a little like something was missing. Not enough to dampen your spirits, but enough to wonder. Did you leave on the stove? Forget to lock the door? As you both continue to walk, you get a few curious looks from the resident monsters. There really aren’t many humans around after all, most in groups with monsters. Finally, Stretch stops you at a dark looking establishment decked in purple and white.

 

“welcome to muffet’s bar,” he says as he hold the door for you, grinning. You walked in to the smell of toasted sandwiches and alcohol. Various spirits were lined up high on shelves around the room, out of reach for most patrons. Stretch winked at the bartender, some kind of purple woman you didn’t get a good look at, before pulling you into a booth. “muffet has the best drinks and sandwiches. bakes all the bread herself, even.” He hands you a menu and you pick something that sounds good. Soon the waitress, a kind of spider woman, comes and takes your orders, leaving behind a bottle of honey before she goes to prepare them. Stretch almost immediately takes a swig.

 

You raise your brows. “So… come here often?”

 

“nyeh heh. Only when i’m feelin’  _ bonely _ . A stiff drink and a good sandwich always picks me up. ‘specially when things get tense in the labs.”

 

“Labs?” you questioned as your drink was brought. With stretch paying, you had gone ahead and tried one of the monster alcohols. A sip told you it was full bodied and delicious, with a hint of something sweeter.

 

“yeah, i work at the clan’s royal labs. mostly in theoreticals and machinery, with some computations. things got real interesting when the fell clan showed up, threw off all the readin’s.”

 

“Why?”

 

“well, another timeline had converged with this one, throwing off the magic and other energy registers-”

 

You shook your head as he went on some scientific spiel, not exactly getting it, but understanding that he really enjoyed his work. Huh, monster alcohol was pretty strong. “So you’re some big fancy science man?” you teased. “Nerd.”

 

He snorted. “hey, the ladies love a good scientist. And i am a good one. I'm down for anytime you wanna  _ experiment _ .” he sent an exaggerated wink your way, but this was a game you could play at.

 

You leaned forward, making sure your breasts rested just on the table. “Oh really? I do love a good experiment,” your voice had turned deep and sultry, and you saw a glowing orange blush work its way onto his cheeks. “Depending on what instruments you use, you might have a very willing test subject.” one predatory smile later, you were back in your seat, sipping innocently at your drink just as your orders arrived.

  
  
  


All through the rest of the date Stretch was sweating. You got more flirtatious as you drank, but you didn’t get more than one since you had to drive home later. How you managed to find so many ways to casually brush against his hands, his legs, his skull… he had been prepared to go on the attack, but your forwardness had him on the defensive. How was your dating power so high?! While his orange blush became a permanent fixture, you only flushed a few times at his sincere compliments, but never at other flirtations or innuendos. He found it cute how you could practically proposition him without batting an eye, but when he said how clever your wordplay was or how fun you were to be around, your face turned the most gorgeous shade of red. When you both left, that alone gave him the courage to take your hand first, enjoying the feel of your soft warm skin over his phalanges. He had some contact with humans, of course, but never really got to explore. So he took advantage of the availability of the opportunity available.

 

By the time you both reached the house where you had parked your bike, you felt plenty sober, but not quite clear headed. Was this being drunk on love? Nah, couldn’t be, you had known him only a week. But you found yourself passing by the bike and going to the wall, where he pushed you into the shadows and kissed you. You eagerly reciprocated, taking the lead from him in pressing your lips against his teeth. He had no lips, yet everywhere you kissed you were met with a spark of magic and a small nuzzle that was likely his version of kissing. It wasn’t like traditional smooching, but it was damn good. And then he spun you against the wall, loosley caging you in with his arms on either side of your head. You were amused that he thought he could take the dominant role here, but then you were open mouthed kissing each other and his tongue invaded your mouth.

 

And hot damn, that tongue. It felt almost as smooth as glass, but you couldn’t really look as your eyes closed in bliss as he worked his tongue in tune with yours, nipping at your lips all the while. Okay, so maybe you melted a little. You decided he could take the lead here, and that was fine. Your hands found his skull and stroked the smooth bone, causing him to moan until the two of you finally broke apart, panting.

 

“whoa.” he whispered.

 

“Whoa yourself,” you panted back, trying to appear put together. You both stared for a minute. “I… should get home. But… we need to do this again.” you grinned at him and he grinned back, knowing a challenge when he saw one.

 

As he watched you drive away he stayed in that sheltered spot, mostly hidden from view, as he lit another cigarette.

 

“guess you found her too.”

 

Stretch fumbled and Red caught the cig before it hit the ground, lighting it and placing it in his own mouth.

 

“shit red, don’t sneak up on a guy like that.”

 

Red shrugged, not apologetic in the least. “you wouldn’t happen to be why she aint textin’ me?” stretch shrugged, and Red growled. “you better not interfere with me courtin’ my own damn soulmate.”

 

Another shrug, and he lit up his own cigarette. “she’s my soulmate too. fair game.”

 

Red ran a searchin gaze over his face. “... if i found out you’re interfering with my chances, you ain’t gonna like how i handle it.”

 

Stretch sighed, exhaling a cloud of smoke. “alright, maybe i discouraged her from texting when i saw your number in her phone-”

 

“i fucking knew it you little-”

 

“but i guess that was a low blow. I got a deal for ya.” Red glared, but made no move to further interrupt. “i’ll take it back, even make sure she texts you at least once. and from now on, we work together to make sure sans doesn’t notice her for as long as possible.”

 

Red looked to the side, biting at his diminishing smoke. “tch, you’re right, if classic went all alpha-timeline on us it’d be trouble… fine. but don’t think i didn’t see that kiss. She’d better text me within a week.”

 

“yeah, yeah.” Stretch put out his smoke and went inside. After a few minutes, Red left as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll prolly make more, just cuz i wanna get to the part where sans finds out what theyre doing and gets pissed.
> 
> buy a skeleton a coffee  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> ask a skeleton a question  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/


	9. Gaster Gets Dunked On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> what if we learned how gaster was treating red?

Gaster sat back, looking over the blueprints for the machine. It was a long ways until it was functional, but the initial small scale tests had promising results. And now that Sans was cooperating, the blue machine might even be ready on schedule. It really was too bad that Riyu had no talent for blue magic. While not the genius that Sans was, she was at least easier to keep track of. Keep control of. And she just seemed to trip over herself to make him happy. Gaster allowed himself a humorless smile. Yes, his drake assistant was comfortably simple. Ah, but she couldn’t run number and magic the way Sans could. Gaster stood to take a break, maybe get himself a nice meal, but… there was a human in the doorway to his lab. His PRIVATE section of the lab. He frowned.

  
  
  


When Alphys had come to you with tapes from the royal labs, saying she was worried about Red, you honestly expected it to be something simple, like drinking on the job falling asleep around dangerous equipment. What you did not expect, however, was the scene that unfolded before you. The Fell clan royal scientist assaulting and threatening and demeaning your friend. Alphys nervously wrung her hands as you watched, and a cold anger settled on you, your fists clenching and unclenching at your sides. You asked for a schedule of dr. Gaster’s time spent at the lab. It was given to you.

 

And now you were here to make sure this Gaster fellow knew who he was threatening. And who Red had on his side.

 

“Can I help you?” the monster asked, his voice icy cold.

 

You gave him a once over. He was, admittedly, much more intimidating in person. Maybe eight feet tall, his skin stark white and his mask-like face cracked in two places, above his right eye and below his left. His hands were folded behind his back, but you would have to watch out if he could summon more at will. However, you stayed casual as you strode over to him.

 

“Yeah, you can. You see, you know a friend of mine, Red. and i’ve heard you haven’t been treating him well. Downright rudely, in fact. So, Voldy, i came here to warn you to back off and leave him alone.” you stepped within six feet, a distance you felt capable of reacting quickly within.

 

“Ah, so the sad excuse for a monster has stooped to hiring his whores to threaten me? Truly sad, that…” his words trailed off as Gaster did a check of your stats. Oh. this was no simple human whore.

 

“Wow, i haven’t even kissed the guy yet and you’re accusing me of whoring around? You don’t know me, man.” in a split second there was a knife in your hand and Gaster barely dodged in time. “And i reeeaaally don’t appreciating you bad mouthing my friends. Isn’t he your kid, too? Never know, if i did sleep with him we could end up related!” your grin was easy and comfortable. You didn’t know what to expect, so you waited to see if he would respond.

 

Gaster was trying to figure out a way to end this where he didn’t dust, didn’t have to hide a human body, took as little damage as possible, and, most importantly, didn’t damage any of the equipment. “I… apologize for my rudeness. Perhaps i could make it up to you?” the hands he had summoned were right behind you, about to…

 

Suddenly, you spun about, slicing at the summoned hands, and as the simple bullet projections vanished you rushed at Gaster, who danced around the lab to avoid your slashing blows. “Actually, yes.” you nicked his labcoat, but that didn’t satisfy your bloodlust in the least. “You can stand still and take a few hits. Then you’ll know that i’m serious, and i’ll be inclined to believe that you will treat my friend appropriately in the future.

 

Gaster did not think standing still and ‘taking his lashes’ would end well at all. With a wave of his hand, gaster summoned a ring of hands and sent them flying at you. You dodged most of them, but a few managed to grab on. Two had landed on one arm and the other on your hip, and as they attempted to push you away from your target they began to squeeze. You dug your feet against the clean tile, halting the momentum before you got too far, but their grip was threatening to crush the bone beneath. You tore at them with your free arm, shredding them like paper. You didn’t miss the look of shock on Gaster’s face from that. Your grin grew wider; it hadn’t dropped this whole time. And it was definitely doing its job of unnerving the monster before you. You both stood in place, at another standoff. Your eyes flicked to the left. A table of papers and tools. In a flash, you had the table overturned.

 

Gaster screamed in rage, diving to rescue the contents, conjuring a number of hands to catch the presumably delicate equipment. This left him wide open as you drove your knives deep into his side and twisted. He stumbled and fell, a viscous purple goop oozing from the wounds. You pounced on him, straddling his torso and pinning his hands to the ground with your blades just shy of digging into whatever he had instead of flesh. It didn’t feel like skin, nor did it feel like the smooth bones of your friends, but you weren’t focused on that.

 

You were focused on the monster who was looking at you with pure  _ hatred _ .

 

“So,” you stated, panting slightly from the exertion of the fight, “are you ready to apologize for threatening my friend?”

 

He sneered at you, and it seemed that even in this situation, he was edging towards taking more physical damage in order to preserve his pride. But then that faded. “I’m sorry for insulting Sans,” he all but spat.

 

“You insulted Sans too? Asshole. Now apologize for threatening Red.”

 

Gaster rolled his eyes, but complied. “Sorry for threatening  _ Red _ .”

 

“Good boy.” oh, he hated that, you could tell. “Now, since a rumor told me you have plenty of HP, you’re going to take one more hit before i leave. Fight back in any way, and you’ll have to take more. Do i make myself clear?”

 

“Crystal,” he growled. It was with great satisfaction that you drove a knife deep into his abdomen, causing more purple goop to flow and even for him to cough up a bit of the stuff. But he had unfortunately complied and not fought back, so you let him up, glancing at your dirty weapons. The goop seemed to be quickly evaporating. More magic bullshit, probably.

 

“Well, this was plenty of fun,” you cajoled. “If you mess up, i’ll see you again, Voldy.” you winked and left.

 

Gaster, once he had recovered and gotten monster food, dodging plenty of questions along the way, later googled ‘voldy’.

  
  
  


Your implements clean and in a fresh set of clothes, you saw Red snoozing away on the couch as Blue played some video game. You sat down next to Red, snuggling against him. He woke up almost immediately.

 

“wha- sweetheart? not complaining, but you okay?” he asked with concern.

 

Blue looked over as well, but you waved off their concerns. “I’m fine. Just… you guys are my friends, you know? You mean a lot to me.” you looked directly into Red’s eye lights and he turned away with a light blush. “You’re important, and irreplaceable.” you snuggled closer, and Red wrapped his arms around you, burying his face into your sleeve and enjoying your scent. “No matter what some asshole says…” you mumbled, too low for them to hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, so i want to do a lot more of reader interaction, getting you guy's opinions and stuff on major plot decisions and other ideas i have. the easiest way to do that is for you to follow mu tumblr! you get bonus content about the stories and you can respond to posts asking your opinion. so please! lets make this together!
> 
> help me pay for my last year of college?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> get bonus content and updates on my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> and remember: you're important. you're your own person, worthy in your own right no matter what others say about you. dont let some asshole tell you that you're worthless. not even yourself! next time your depression or anxiety says something like that, pretend it's gaster and remind him that a human soul has an amazing amount of power within it.


	10. Caught With Your Pants Down*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> nsfw! not super bad, but there is kinda a sex scene.
> 
> a anon on tumblr asked: What If...Fang was still in a Friends With Benefits situation when the Judges find she's their Soulmate (basically a What If of a What If)?
> 
> and i decided, what if they caught her in the act? so have some jelly skellies and also some emotions, i guess? idk its a mess really

When you normally have raids, they normally consist of a lot of fighting, breaking things, and sending a message that you’ve expanded your territory, sometimes with some kidnapping or torturing. But this one had been a bust. They had obviously left the place abandoned for at least a day or two, and there wasn’t really much there. They must have heard about the territory expansion and left without losing anyone. Which was fine. Really.

 

But it left you unsatisfied. An itch unscratched. Good thing you had a backup plan. “Anny, you free later?” you asked back at base, while everyone was putting away the weapons they kept there.

 

Anny grinned. “Sure am. Netflix and chill?” he waggled his eyebrows, and Jackie appeared and shoved him on his way to put his things away.

 

“Cut the cute shit, everyone knows you two are fucking,” he stated plainly.

 

You rolled your eyes. “You’re just jealous cuz you aren’t getting any. Just get on a hook-up app or something, man.”

 

“Not all of us enjoy being so… free with our affections,” he growled, and you resisted the urge to laugh at him. Must suck to be thirsty when you’re demi-sexual. “Do you guys  _ have  _ to arrange a hookup before we even finish reporting?”

 

“Yup,” you answered without missing a beat. “Need some fuck.” you’re amused by the noise of vague disgust from Jackie. Anny eventually drags you away before you finish messing with Jackie, and he drives you back to his place.

  
  
  


The three of them were all walking back from Grillbys when they felt it. Stretch excused himself first, telling his brother he would meet him later at home. Red was quick to follow, claiming he forgot something at work, making Ede scoff. Sans lasted a whole minute before, sweating nervously, he said something about helping the others and teleporting straight down the street with the others as they all tried to figure out where the pull on their souls had come from.

 

“heh, told ya he wouldn’t be long,” Red said smugly as Stretch glared at him. “of course classic’s gotta get involved when a soulmate shows up.”

 

“yeah, because it’s  _ my  _ soulmate. you guys have your own. in your own timelines.” he blocks out Red’s snarled retort as he tries to feel for that spark, that song, that… pull. He can feel it, and instantly takes off in that direction.

 

“hey, wait!” Stretch calls out as he and Red follow, but Sans doesn’t see any good reason to do that. 

 

The others falter when their surroundings transition into human territory, but not Sans. he can hardly believe he even has a soulmate, and if the others are willing to give up because humans get involved, or their soulmate is a human, he’s perfectly fine with that outcome. As the pull gets stronger he picks up speed, as much as he dares. While he’s always been fast, even without shortcuts, his physical stamina isn’t the best. Although, when they arrive at the house that their soulmate is definitely inside, he’s sweating less than the other two. Heh, maybe time on the surface has toughened him  _ up  _ a little.

 

“so what now?” Red grumbles as his panting stops. Stretch is still trying to catch his breath.

 

“now, i see if i can find a window and figure out how to approach  _ my  _ soulmate. probably a human, so i understand if you guys don’t wanna stick around.” Sans smirks at them, unfortunately aware that it couldn’t be that easy to get rid of them.

 

“yeah, right,” Stretch says, leading the way towards where they can feel the pull most strongly, after a quick glance to make sure no one was watching three skeleton monsters making their way rather predatorily around a human dwelling.

 

But as they got closer, they heard the shouts and moans. And they recognized your voice instantly as that of their soulmate’s, because it sounded like a song and momentarily stunned them into silence.

 

“FUCK! Yes! There, harder!”

 

But they were snapped out of it by the sound of a male. An out of breath male who was fUCKING THEIR SOULMATE.

 

“Make me, bitch!”

 

“F-fuck you, asshole!”

 

They found a window, and while it was mostly covered by curtains, there was a crack in the fabric through which they could see you, buck naked, ass in the air, as some human man moved in and out of you. But then you shoved your hips back, causing him to slip out and fall back onto the bed. You were on him in an instant pinning his wrists and moving to ride him.

 

“We gotta work on your attitude problennnngggh…” Anny said as you pushed him into you, his smirk dropping in favor of giving into his vocal nature.

 

You grinned, moaning your own noises of pleasure. Sex with Anny was never boring, as the two of you made it a constant competition to see who could top for longest without getting overpowered. You were naturally competitive, and Anny appeared to enjoy the challenge.

 

And then suddenly three skeletons appeared in the room.

 

“What the FUCK!” you practically jumped off Anny, grabbing your knives from the bedside table. Noticing your distress he quickly noted the new presences as well, but he couldn’t grab his guns from under the mattress before, with a ping, a small heart-shaped object flew out of his chest, turned blue, and then he and the heart were flung against a wall. “Get OUT!” you screamed at the intruders, quickly moving to the floor and dashing at the short skeleton whose left eye is lit with red magic, the one that’s probably holding Anny against the wall. You slash at him but he neatly dodges, sweat beading on his skull. You slash again, but again he dodges, until you feel something pull at the center of your chest, which is suddenly burning. With a ping, a small orange heart-shaped object appears in front of you, and the world goes black and white. All you can focus on is that bright orange heart in front of you as it shimmer and pulses, sending out waves of energy that make you feel… confused. But then the heart turns blue.

 

Gravity doubles on you and you fall to the floor, barely keeping a grip on your weapons.

 

“wait, let us explain,” Stretch steps towards you, but stops when you snarl and hiss at him. “okay, staying back here for now. but, uh, we’re your soulmates, and your soul pulled us here, and um, wowie, you’re very naked, and…”

 

Red rolled his eyes and stepped towards you, one arm still outstretched as he keeps the cursing Anny up against the wall. “let’s just bring ‘er back to my place and explain there.”

 

“why your place?” Sans bristles, his own magic holding you down. You try to see if you can fight this gravity, but its borderline painful.

 

“you think if your paps walks in he’ll be fine with… this? yeah, that’s what i thought.” he steps forwards and puts a hand on your shoulder.

 

The world goes black. For a moment you think they’ve knocked you out, but then you’re able to see again before you even register the passing of time. You’re in an apartment even worse off than your own, with water damage on the ceiling and mysterious stains on parts of the wall. But gravity is also normal again, and you still have your knives. you jerk your head to the side to see the skeleton before with his hand still on your shoulder, and you shift to slice at his arm. He moves out of the way just in time.

 

“hey! classic, you mind?” Red jerks his head over to you as you shakily get to your feet. Your heart-thing is pulled from your chest again and gravity once more becomes a powerful enemy.

 

Five minutes later gravity is normal, but your knives are one and you are tied to a chair.

 

Stretch brings over a blanket to cover you, and you decide not to hiss at him. “stars i can’t believe i just helped to kidnap my soulmate…” the orange-clad skeleton rubs his hand over his face.

 

“sometimes ya gotta tie people down to explain shit,” Red shrugged, unperturbed. 

 

“can’t say i’m a huge fan of being  _ roped  _ into some kind of weird hostage situation either,” Sans chuckles nervously. He turns to you. “so, uh, i’m sans. sans the skeleton. this is stretch and red. nice to… anyway. how much do you know about monsters and soulmates?”

 

You rolled your eyes. “Well, i had a pretty good opinion of monsters until recently.” they all flinched. “As for soulmates, i didn’t think they existed. But then again, i didn’t think monsters existed either until, what, three years ago?”

 

“going on five now, kid,” Sans said tightly. “Well, anyway, most everyone is supposed to have at least one soulmate. most people find theirs at some point in their life, and, being closer to our souls than humans, we monsters can feel our souls calling for each other when soulmates are close enough. that’s how we found you.”

 

“And why should i believe you?” you had realized now that the heart from before must be your soul. You had heard about them being real, but that was your first time ever seeing one. Now that it was back inside you, you could feel it, faintly warm and pulsing. Or you could be imagining things. Or this could be a monster magic thing.

 

Stretch stepped forward. “i... have an idea. if... if we pull our souls out, you’ll be able to hear em callin’ for ya. really hear ‘em. would you believe us then?” he shuffled awkwardly, apparently very interested in a certain stain on the carpet.

 

You looked between the skeletons sceptically. “I guess so…”

 

He took a deep breath, and Stretch pulled forth his soul. And he was right. You could hear it  _ sing _ , a melody that called to you and made you want to laugh and cry at how perfect it was. It was shaped like an inverted heart, white and pearlescent with the occasional spark or orange. You had the unexplainable urge to kiss a skeleton. You felt tears drip down your cheek as he put it away and you wanted him o bring it back, hold it close and treasure it.

 

You didn’t even notice that your itch was gone.

 

“so, believe me?” he whispered, and you could only nod your head yes. “If i untie you, you gonna attack any of us?” you shook your head no, and he undid the ropes binding you in place. You engulfed him in a hug as soon as the bindings were loose enough.

 

“hey, what about the rest of us?” Red asked.

 

“You gonna bear your soul to me too?” you asked with a raised brow, slowly becoming aware of how naked you were but determined to at least pretend like you didn’t care.

 

“fuck, fine.” and Red pulled out his soul. It looked much the same as Stretch’s, but with sparks of red instead of orange and a different melody. They weren’t really songs, but that was all you could relate them too as wave after wave of the mix of emotions and desires hit you. It was rougher, deeper, more desperate, but just as perfect. You let go of Stretch to hug Red.

 

Sans stepped up awkwardly. “so, um, was that enough, or…” a look his way said that he wouldn’t escape your soul searching. He shifted in place for a moment before slowly, carefully, pulling out his soul.

 

It didn’t look like the others. You couldn’t quite tell what was different, but something was. Maybe its sheen was a bit duller. Maybe the sparks of color jumped a bit more frequently. Maybe you started crying as soon as it started to emerge. You couldn’t even wait for him to put it away, stepping forward as if in a trance, and he put it away just was you cupped your hands on his cheekbones and kissed him gently. A kiss not like what you normally give, all passion and lust, no, this kiss said  _ let me support you. You don't have to fight anymore _ . And he melted into it. When you broke apart, he just held you close, burying his face in the crook of your neck. When he finally pulled away, the other two were staring at him with unreadable faces.

 

“well,” Sans broke the silence. “welcome to being soulmates with a monster. three monsters. what do you think?”

 

A breeze made goosebumps rise on your skin, and made your nipples perk. You smirked. “Well, we could get to know each other. We could even use the rope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm less than a week away from going back to my home country! my home country is a dumpster fire, but at least i get to see my sibling, who is the coolest person in existence. i'll also be doing my last year of college. idk if the update schedule will change cuz of that.
> 
> help pay for my last year of college?  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> gimme suggestions, ask characters questions, and participate in directing the plot at my tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/


	11. What would have happened after Ch1 of kinktober?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For user Have, who wanted to know what would happen after "Masks with Red" from the Itch kinktober 2018. They dropped me a ko-fi forever ago, but i finally finished something i'm proud of! 
> 
> might get a sequel later down the line like a couple of the others, but we'll see.

It was no secret that Red liked to bring home humans. How he convinced them to come into his filthy room, Edge would never understand. Usually Red would take them home before Edge had to deal with them, although some attempted to sneak out earlier. Sometimes Edge would offer them breakfast. Humans were so weak already, there was no need for them to skip meals merely because they had gone through crude activities the night before!

 

…

 

Very few humans took him up on his offer. Well, maybe none of them had.

 

Until this morning, when you stumbled out of Red’s room, still wearing your mask. Edge took a double take, and the two of you locked gazes. 

 

“ARE YOU A BURGLAR, OR ONE OF MY BROTHER'S HUMANS?” He finally asked. 

 

You blinked from behind your mask. “Uuuuh, i'm gonna go with the latter. Um. That the front door?” he had teleported you here, so you weren't quite sure. 

 

“NO. THAT IS A CLOSET.”

 

“Ah.” You waited for him to point out the correct door. He didn't. 

 

“WOULD YOU LIKE SOME BREAKFAST? AND TAKE THAT THING OFF YOUR FACE.” He moved into the kitchen area, which was just as small and lackluster as the rest of the apartment; they only had a mini fridge, microwave, oven, and range. “THERE ARE EGGS AND TOAST.”

 

You debated just leaving, but decided, why the heck not. “Yeah sure. I’d love some eggs and shit.”

 

“LANGUAGE.” he plated up some food, and when he looked up again to see you waiting there, looked a bit surprised. “HUH. YOU’RE STILL HERE.”

 

You tilted your head in confusion. “...Yeah? You kinda offered me free food?” did he want you to leave?

 

“MOST RUN AWAY.” he shoved the plate towards you and pointed out the card table. “TAKE A SEAT. AND TAKE OFF THAT MASK, I’D RATHER NOT HAVE MY BROTHER’S FETISHES ON DISPLAY AT THE TABLE.”

 

You sat down, but crossed your arms. “It’s not a fetish thing. It’s… a work thing.” Monsters wouldn’t know about gangs, right? “I can’t take it off in front of someone.”

 

Ah. that was a thing Ushravas did. Papyrus determined two things from this. One, you were in the Ushravas gang, known for their masks and transportation resources. Two, you were probably a monster fetishist, like most of the humans who slept with his brother. So he felt no guilt trying to get information out of you. He made a plate for himself and sat across from you. 

 

“SO. WHAT KIND OF WORK DO YOU DO THAT REQUIRES A MASK LIKE THAT?”

 

“Uh… acting?”   
  
He yanked off your mask. “I WILL NOT TOLERATE THIS RIDICULOUSNESS IN MY HOUSE.” 

 

You managed to catch his wrist, but only after he had already unmasked you. You gripped it tightly, digging your nails in, before letting him go, snatching your mask from his hands. “I’m leaving.” You walked out the door, and thought that would be the last you saw of them.

  
  
  


But now… you were signing a lease with two skeleton friends, their brothers, and two mystery roommates that had butted in at the last moment. You still hadn’t met them. But it was move in day, so you were bound to run into them.

 

“Hey!” Blue called out to you as you were pushing a bookshelf into your new room on the ground floor. “Human! Are you excited? To be moving in with us?!”

 

You gave him a grin full of completely fake confidence. “Hell yeah! You and Papyrus are really great friends, so it’s gonna be great!” When the two royal guardsmen had come to you with a plan to move in together into human territory, you had been worried to say the least. And when they asked you to help them by being their roommate and handling all the in-person arrangements, you had kind of wanted to run away. But… how did skeletons give such good puppy eyes?!

 

Blue gave you a thumbs up and kept moving his things into the room next to yours. It seemed he and Stretch, his brother, would be taking the other two rooms on the first floor with you. Papyrus and his brother Sans were moving into some rooms on the second floor already, and only the last two had yet to arrive. You had gotten all the furniture and boxes into your room, and were unpacking when you heard what sounded like a small plane landing in the street. You moved the curtains to look outside, only to see that… a small plane had landed in the street. A blushing plane, with a strange hat. And it of that plane stepped two figures that made you quickly close the curtains and duck down below the windowsill. It was the skeleton you had slept with a couple months ago, and his loud brother! 

At least, only the brother had seen your face. That was a small blessing. But they were the ones moving in with you?!

 

Red wasn't too keen on moving. Sure this place was way better than the Fell Clan apartments, but it was deep in human territory, and he still didn't trust them. Sure, he'd bring one home on occasion, but that was in monster territory. Plus, they said they were living with a human Blue and Papyrus trusted. As if the were any humans worth trusting. The only one he'd come close to liking was that one chick in the mask that had rescued those monsters, and had gone on to give him the best lay he'd had in a while. But she was gone when he woke up, and he never got any details about her. By the time they had all moved in, Blue and Papyrus's human still hasn't made an appearance. Either she wasn't home, or just racist. But at dinner time,  after they had all split the bill on half a dozen pizzas, the human finally came out of her room. She was pretty good looking, but something about her was particularly familiar. Red felt his grin widened as he realized they had probably slept together before. Hell yeah, if nothing else good came from this, he might have 24/7 access to a hot booty call.

 

You had planned on just grabbing some pizza and basically running away, but before you could even reach the food, Papyrus had clapped a hand to your shoulder. 

 

“There you are!” He said with that happy smile, “Come meet Edge and Red!”

 

That was not what you wanted to do, but he was already guiding you towards the voices in the living room where the others had gathered. Blue saved you over energetically. Stretch gave you a nod. Sans gave you dinner guns. You wanted to give them the finger. “Hey,” you said instead, giving your name. Maybe it would be fine. Maybe neither of them would remember you. 

 

Red sauntered over, getting into your personal space and grinning at you with razor sharp teeth. “hey, you been sittin in sugar? cuz that is one sweet ass.”

 

You blinked, stunned. You honestly could not tell whether or not he recognized you. A glance at Edge, however, was giving you a glare that made you think he very much recognized you. “I, um, just came out for food. Don't mean to crash the party.” You tried to leave, but Papyrus still had a firm grip on you. 

 

“Nonsense! Despite Red’s crude flirtation, I assure you that you are most welcome! And the others have been excited to meet you!” Papyrus gave you a gentle push to the middle of the room. “I'll get you some pizza and be right back!”

 

As you stumbled into the room, Blue grabbed your wrist and pulled you onto the couch between him and Sans. Almost as if it were a planned maneuver. You smiled nervously at Sans, who gave you an amused grin. You just shook your head in turn. “You guys are pushy,” you huffed. 

 

“You have to socialize with your new roommates!” Blue insisted. “We'll all be living together, so we should practice getting along!”

 

“YES.” Edge’s voice caused you to wince. “WE WILL ALL HAVE TO PUT UP WITH EACH OTHER.”

 

“So,” you tried, “I know Papyrus and Blue, and i’ve met their brothers, but Edge and Red, tell me about yourselves?”

 

“well, i assure that my room is always open,” Red winked. “but im a scientist. an ya know, i  _ do  _ think there's a little  _ chemistry  _ between us already.”

 

Edge rolled his eyes. “AND I AM A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD.”

 

“... Cool. great. Those sure are jobs.” And the shortest descriptions you’d ever heard. “I, uh, i’m just a waitress. But i like to play video games.”

 

“We should all play together!” Blue said.

 

You gave a vague nod as Blue snuggled closer. He really was a cuddler. When Papyrus came out with your food, you quickly took it and left.

 

The skeletons all sat in the living room, eating their pizza, until Edge spoke. “THAT’S ONE OF RED’S HUMANS. THE ONE WITH THE MASK,” he clarified, for his brother’s sake.

 

Stretch almost choked on his pizza, and all but Papyrus froze. Red’s eye lights widened, and he was the one that finally spoke. “that…  _ that  _ was her? ha. haha… hahahaha!” He slapped his leg as he burst out laughing. “oh man, this is the best. i thought i was gonna have ta look way harder.”

 

Sans turned to the Fell brothers with a harsh glare. “what. do you mean paps and blue set us up with a monster fetishist?”

 

“Sans, no!” Papyrus protested, looking worried. “She has never said anything untoward, and only wanted to hang out!”

 

“bro,” Stretch turned to Blue, “don't go anywhere alone with her.”

 

Blue was perfectly affronted. “She is my friend! Papy, you can’t stop me from making friends! I am not a babybones.”

 

“none a ya are gonna have ta worry about that, cuz i’m gonna make her my girl,” Red said, leaning back with an easy smile. “any gal who goes out protectin’ monsters, can fight like a rabid temmie, and… do those things in bed is more than worth my time.”

 

“SANS!” Edge called out in a scandalized voice, “YOU WILL BE DOING NO SUCH THING!”

 

He looked over to his brother and winked. “jus’ try an stop me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dang its been so long since i updated this.... well, hope ya'll are having fun!
> 
> Come by my tumblr, send me or the characters ask or suggestions or whatever ya like!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> well, that was a thing.
> 
> come see me on tumblr!  
> https://homesafterthemountain.tumblr.com/
> 
> if you buy me a coffee, I'll do your suggestion here for sure.  
> https://ko-fi.com/stripesnbooks
> 
> i love you, and i know you can push through this. if you cant, dont feel like you have to fight. resting is just as important as fighting.


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